The silly questions that got my 10yo talking

Everyone was still asleep while I was sipping my coffee on the couch this past Saturday morning.

My 10yo stepdaughter was the first to come out and as she came towards me, I almost held out my arm as an invitation to snuggle... but before I could process the thought, she'd already plopped down on the other end of the couch.

My stepdaughter and I have never really had a "snuggly" relationship, and it's something I used to crave... there is still part of me that longs for that, but I definitely don't want to push it.

One thing I've learned as a stepmom is that you can't force closeness. You have to find your own unique ways of connecting, and let the relationship be what it is.

We have other ways of feeling close, though, and for us the biggest one has always been play. In fact, finding ways to connect with my stepdaughter through play was what inspired me to start Playful Heart Parenting back when my son was just a baby!

She said, "What should we talk about?" which is a question she asks often, but I never really know what to say when she asks...

When I asked what she'd like to talk about she just said, "I don't know," which bounced the ball back over to me. 🙃

For some reason, it's hard for my brain to pick a topic that interests her (other than squishies... who out there can relate to the squishy obsession!?)...

...so I decided to throw out some silly "Would You Rather" questions!

I love "Would You Rather" because it gets everyone talking but takes all the pressure off the conversation. It's just easy, silly fun.

I tapped the "gross stuff" category on my Silly Moments app and asked:

"Would you rather have butt cheeks that interrupt you all day or armpits that scream every time you raise your arms?"

...that one got us both laughing good!

note to self: don't ever google "buttcheeks gif" again... thank goodness I was alone

After a few more, she said, "Can you ask me some more questions now? Like real questions? About my mom's house?"

Ohhhhh, I thought. Her initial "What should we talk about" was a bid for connection, specifically her wanting to share that part of her life with me! 🥹

Now that I understood that, the conversation flowed beautifully. We talked all about the kinds of meals they like to eat there, what the basement looks like, what her sisters were doing for Halloween, and more.

The truth is, she and I haven't had much one-on-one time lately. Between my 2yo and 5yo, the school year schedule, and my workload, uninterrupted conversations have been pretty rare. As weird as it feels to say, I can feel a little rusty when it comes to having one-on-one chats with her!

This was such a great reminder to me that a little silliness can often be the gateway to deeper or more natural conversation.

And as a stepmom, I'm especially grateful for those little moments when we find our way to each other.

My invitation for you this week:

Try a Would You Rather question instead of your typical "How was your day?"-type question.

It'll probably lead to some laughs, and it might even open the door to a conversation you didn't see coming.

(Feel free to start with the one I asked my stepdaughter! 😂)

Cheering you on always,

Mia

P.S. Can you believe it's already November!? To get in the Thanksgiving spirit, I made a new FREE printable of mini-games and silly moments: Tap here to grab TURKEY DAY PLAY! 🦃